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Crazy Prom Dress

Posted Mar.12, 2011 by Myself, under Crazy, fun

Years and years from now we’re going to have to deal with Proms and formals and all that extraneous garbage that comes along with high school. I’m sure my Prom cost a bit of cash although I can’t remember specifics. A rental tux, corsage, flowers, and even a limo split amongst six of us. I’m sure my girlfriend’s dress was nice, even though I can’t recall it. And knowing her it was on the expensive side. But I doubt it was $14,000. The number is staggering. Can you imagine spending that kind of cash on a dress meant to worn once to a dance in high school! If I had to point a finger of blame (and I do like to) it would have to be MTV. It’s always MTV’s fault.

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Characters and Food

Posted Mar.11, 2011 by Myself, under Food

If my kids had any choice every meal would be sugar-centric. I also have no doubt that’s probably true of 99% of the kids in the country. If I don’t monitor myself carefully I could be as bad as they want to. I understand. Sugar is practically insidious the way it’s simply everywhere.

One way we’ve kept consumption down is by pretending that a good two thirds of the cereals on the shelves don’t exist. It’s not easy. I’m usually able to shop alone. If I can’t pull that off and one of the Creatures is in tow, I do my best to avoid the aisle completely. Of course they can’t watch the Disney channel or Nickelodeon without seeing about a million commercials for cereal an hour. They’ve actually given up on me getting them Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Frosted Flakes. Sorry kids the store was out. Bummer! One day they’ll figure out I’m a lying bastard and hate me for it, but for now it means I bring home cereals on the healthier end of the spectrum. And never, never, never a box with a character on it. Because basically cereals represented by cartoon characters aren’t the best to eat. I’m not sure why we needed a study for this, but I suppose reaffirming the obvious can’t hurt.

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Cutting Them Off

Posted Mar.10, 2011 by Myself, under Random

I can’t say I’m a huge Tony Curtis fan, but Some Like It Hot is a comedy classic. Not to mention he’s the father of Jamie Lee Curtis. But to cut his kids out of his will so harshly, it makes you wonder. There must be some interesting water under that bridge.

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Dogs and Kids

Posted Mar.10, 2011 by Myself, under Random

Why do people with dogs always assume that you want your kid to play with them? I have nothing against dogs except for the little ones that look like footballs and yip-yip all the time, but let’s be honest; most canines are the same size if not larger then my Creatures. Why would I want to randomly introduce my children to a stranger’s dog with just their say so that their dog isn’t a rapid killer who missed breakfast?

 

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Dramatis Personae

Creature One- a thoughtful six year old whose gentleness seems like a gift. Except when he's ordering me around.

Creature Two- an unstoppable force of nature that can only be a three year old with no sense of fear.

Myself- an impeccable and handsome stay-at-home dad who hopes one day to grow up to be a hot shot stock trader or the Captain of the Enterprise.

The Lovely Wife- nothing more past the initial description is needed.

 

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