Sometimes you come across an idea so phenomenal that you can kick yourself repeatedly for not thinking if it yourself. Parenting’s Stinky Diaper Awards is one of those. There’s been a slew of bad parenting examples on television this year and these awards call ‘em out.

While I wouldn’t wear one of these myself (I’m much to classy), the Creatures would look adorable in it. If we can’t humiliate our children in the name of our childhood fascinations, why did bother having them?

Usually toy recalls are all about safety. Some stray toxic chemicals in the paint and off the shelves it comes. As it should be of course. But what if you’re misunderstanding what the toy is saying? What if instead of singing Jingle Bells that cute toy mouse is singing about pedophilia? I say return that thing for full refund.

So Disney’s newest, “The Princess and the Frog,” was number one at the box office. I suppose it isn’t much of a surprise, the Mouse doesn’t fool around when it comes to it’s Princesss movies. I’ve got to say though, from the few clips that I’ve seen in commercials and online, that the animation doesn’t look as impressive as I hoped for. Lately we’ve been watching Snow White and Pinochioo, and they’re just lush to watch. The colors are rich and deep. At times it’s almost like watching a moving watercolor. This new one looks a little flat. And not to be too mean… it looks like it was made for television.

Real menorahs have always scared me a bit. Open flame, multiplied by eight, might not always be such a wise thing. Especially with young grasping hands with no sense of restraint.  And don’t get me started about those electric ones you can buy at the drugstore. They might be safer but they’re so ugly they shouldnt exist. There are some good ground rules here on keeping things safe.

An interesting list of ten toys that should be avoided according to W.A.T.C.H. I had never heard of the group before but I’m a sucker for lists. Who knew a Curious George Counting book could be so dangerous?

 Creature Two goes daily to a place I would certainly consider more of a daycare then a school. We chose it because of the flexible hours, fairly pristine facility, and a glowing reputation. It’s been a couple of months already and everyone seems happy. One of the best parts of it all is watching her come out of her shell a bit and begin to connect with other kids.

According to a new study kids watch almost two and a half hours of television in daycare. Adding that to the amount of time most kids watch television at home, it adds up to quite a bit of catatonic non-involvement. Fortunately, as far as I can tell, the only screens in  I’ve noticed in my daughter’s daycare, are in the main office. They’re closed circuit monitors of each room so that parents can see how their kids are doing without disturbing them. 

If I wanted my kids to watch that much television, I’d just keep them at home in front of the boob tube. It would be cheaper.

As a kid I always wanted an ant farm. It was all about bringing nature inside so it could be viewed nose-up-to-glass. Of course there was no way my mother was going to allow me to keep creepy crawlies as pets. One errant elbow and we would have a serious infestation problem. Since being a father is about living vicariously, I’m debating whether I should get one for the Creatures. Creature One will love it it. His fascination with science is growing everyday and without a doubt he’ll be transfixed. It’s the other one I’d be worried about. At three she might think it’s cute to shake them up.  Or set them free. This is probably the finest looking ant farm I’ve ever seen.

I was happily surprised to see Yo Gabba Gabba had a float in yesterday’s Macy’s parade. Despite the kids liking it, I’m not a big fan of the show, it grates on me, but there was little else to hold there interest in the three hour wait to glimpse Santa. The big ballons were fun, but there weren’t enough of them. They were bored by all the marching bands, and most of the vocal performances were by people I had never heard of. And I doubt I will hear of them again.
It seems a real waste that the guy in red only shows up in the last two minutes.

So it’s the time of year when the Lovely Wife hands me a list of names that we need to get gifts for. Because it’s the holidays, you understand. We all need to be grateful. I was expecting to see seven or eight names. Ten at the most. I almost lost it when I saw fifteen. I understand giving a gift card to the Creature’s primary teachers, but is it necessary to give to the newly hired music teacher who has a once a week group session at my daughter’s daycare? It’s not that I mind tipping. I can only think of one time I withheld a gratuity in a restaurant (due to especially horrible service). I understand wait-staff are paid low wages and the fifteen to twenty percent extra goes to paying their rent so they can continue to go on auditions. Its just that it feels like we’re supposed to throw money at anyone we come into contact with. Truly ridiculous. 

Basically I’m going to do my damndest to shrink the list down to ten.